My Book
In my free time, I have been writing a book. Here is a little taste of it. PS. if you work in the publishing industry and want to sign me and give me an advance (preferably in USD but Dunkaroos and other food stuffs work too) please let me know:
About the Author
For years Ryan pronounced the word “Faux” as “Fox”. Which doesn’t sound like that big of a deal until you step into a PETA meeting and announce to everyone in the room to “calm their tits” cause the coat you are wearing is made entirely out of “Fox Fur”. He is the guy who pulls up too far away from the drive-up ATM and has to open his door and lay his entire body through the window to take out money.
He currently lives in the hearts of hardworking Americans. Anytime a stressed-out waitress prays for the strength to finish another shift or a Puerto Rican baby sees snow for the first time, he is there. In a more literal sense, he lives in Manayunk, Philadelphia. He is 27 years old and has the body type of a preteen Filipino girl. He has won several international awards for comedy. He is a personal friend of Jon Stewart and Desmond Tutu. He is also a liar.
Some have referred to Ryan as a renaissance man, not because he is skilled in many disciplines, but because he has a 15th Century understanding of science and geometry. He thinks Kanye West is an airline. He is available for children’s parties - not to read or entertain; he just has a lot of free time* and enjoys cake.
This is his book.
*Unemployed
Follow Ryan because he’ll bring a tear to your eye more than your parents ever did.
